Thursday, November 9, 2017

The Best Husband

   Sunday night I randomly started crying again, but it was because I was overwhelmed with happiness. Michael kept asking if I was okay, then put his arm around me and I told him, “I’m so lucky to have you and Emma, but I complain so much. You’re so good to me and she’s so perfect.” I told him that my heart was so full that there was nowhere for the rest of the love to go except to come out in tears. It made me think of my one random hormonal time during my pregnancy with Emma. He told me that I looked pretty even though I was crying, but then made sure that I was not actually crying for a bad reason. I told him, “There is nothing bad for me to cry about. I have so much to be thankful for.”
   On Saturday we went to Busch Gardens because they were having a promotion where first responders get in free with their work ID and the person they bring gets their ticket 50% off. (Apparently Michael just found out today that he would have gotten in for free too if he had brought his Universal ID. Darn it.) The day before we went, I told Michael that I wanted to go on a roller coaster to get all my stress out in screams. However, seeing how high the roller coasters were from the ground, I told Michael that I regretted making that comment. Maybe he didn’t believe me or just kept his expectations low, but he didn't seem upset at all when I wouldn’t go on any of the big ones, except he seemed a little sad that I wouldn’t do Cobra’s Curse after he asked me three times if I was sure that I didnt want to do that one. At one point I started whining about how I felt bad for not doing more rides with Michael, but he said, “Hey, stop. It’s fine. If you don’t want to ride any, that’s okay.. I have more fun when we’re together anyway.” Awww!! I still wish I didnt have all the nervousness or the fear of falling/ dying or whatever the issue is so I could be more fun for Michael (same for wishing I liked Halloween Horror Nights). Hopefully Emma will like more of that stuff so she can go with him when she’s older.
When that emu was walking on the other side of that tree, he tripped on one of the tree roots and it was absolutely hilarious!! I definitely busted out laughing.
   We rode the “baby” Grover roller coaster in the Sesame Street area and I did the Sand Serpent and Scorpion roller coaster which was about the same height as the Hippogriff ride at Islands of Adventure. I kept wanting to get out of line as we got closer to it being our turn. (After the drop, that coaster does an upside down loop.) Michael gave me a neck massage to help me relax then moved my shoulders back and forth to pump me up and then we did a chest bump before boarding the ride. I really wanted to at least ride the Scorpion since I didnt want to be a total wimp. As we were going up the “hill” to the top I yelled a fake, “Woooo! This is so fun!” which made Michael laugh. After the drop and the loop, I did yell “It’s never as bad as I think it will be!” and we shared a big smile as our eyes met again. I think he just likes me doing scary things with him because of how tightly I hold on to him.
   The first thing we did in the park was seeing the kangaroos. I thought there might be two, but there were probably 25! The first one I saw grossed me out because I thought it was a male kangaroo just laying there with his privates out, but then Michael corrected me saying it was a mom kangaroo and what I saw was a baby (joey) leg sticking out of the pouch. Ha! There were a lot of moms with long kid legs sticking out of the pouches. I got to pet one kangaroo as Michael took a video. I was surprised how soft it was, like a cat. We both expected it to be more course like sheep’s wool, but now I can’t think of the last time I petted a sheep.. There were a lot of animal habitat areas with tigers, gorillas, and hyenas to watch. We didn’t get to pet any of those, but I liked that the animals were all relaxing close to the windows.
   While walking around and riding the train we talked about wondering how often other couples hold hands or verbalize that their spouse is great or good-looking. Sometimes he still does the silly thing where he’ll pretend to stretch then put his arm around me. I like that. I think so much of his goodness has to do with being patient. And he has a natural positive and happy demeanor, so much that anytime he is upset about something, it feels like a much bigger deal than when I get upset.
Some other great husband memories:

-- When I was in the hospital in May for six days I had to wear massage things on my legs so I wouldn’t get blood clots. They didn’t like for me to move except to get up to use the bathroom since I had the NST monitors around my stomach to track Emma’s heart rate. If I moved, Emma moved, but when I asked Michael to put the massage straps on for me he gently kissed my legs from my knees to my feet before wrapping them up.

-- A few weeks after having Emma we played mini golf at Disney with Brian and Steven. Since I had a C-section and still wasn’t fully healed, I couldn’t bend down all the way to pick up my golf ball, so Michael happily did it for me at each hole.

-- A lot of times when Michael and I have short conversations on the phone, if I sound unhappy at all, a minute or less after we hang up, he’ll call me back to check if I’m okay or ask what’s wrong. He did that on Friday when I was concerned about a money issue. (Don’t worry, it was quickly resolved.) He called five minutes later just to make sure I wasn’t stressing. Other times he just calls to say that he loves me.

-- If we go somewhere together but park in different areas (like when going to the hospital -me coming from home, and him coming from work) or going out to eat, he will still walk me to my car first. He keeps a picture of me in his wallet.

Also, these texts/notes:
  His handwriting is kind of hard to read, but it says, "Thanks for being an amazing wife! I love you so very much and hope you have a fantastic day! I'll be thinking about you all day. Love you Shnooks!" 
 For this text Michael was asking me if I was going to do Hands On since I told him that I was going to the hospital that day after work. I don't like doing it by myself.
-- I texted him the other day asking if he needed anything from Publix or if he’d go with me so we could spend an extra 30 minutes together. (I was gone for 6 hours in the afternoon for Litza’s baby shower plus driving time.) He texted me back saying, “Nah I’m good. Unless you want me to go with you, then I definitely will.” And he did. I swear every year he becomes an even better husband. I thought last year was amazing! I can’t wait for next year!!
Side notes:
   I keep forgetting to write about a post-pregnancy side effect: hair loss! I try not to wash or brush my hair every day because when I do, a lot comes out. I’m not sure how I don’t already look like Gollum! Also I'm eating meat again as of last Friday, after 52 days without any. Emma's tummy was having too hard of a time processing beans and veggie burgers and I care a lot more about her than I care about chickens, cows, and pigs. Sorry animals. I'll save you again when I'm done pumping. Luckily even though she still gets sweaty from crying while getting the gas or poops out, I don't think she has passed out in a while, which is a very wonderful thing! We can handle little episodes where she just needs a boost of oxygen or comforting words and a hand or two to hold. Technically we can handle both, but not seeing her pass out is much easier on my heart.  ♡♥♡

Friday, November 3, 2017

#NICUlife

   There is a photo challenge going around on social media about posting seven black and white photos of your every day life, but it can’t be pictures of yourself or people you know. It’s supposed to be a week long challenge, but since it’s impossible for me to go that long without posting a picture of Emma (plus then I would be denying everyone else on Facebook pictures of Emma, and nobody wants that), I took all of my pictures in the same day. And then added a few more from other days that are NICU related, such as views out my window while driving to the hospital.
 The other night I wondered what advise Mia would give herself to stay positive if she was in our situation. She gave the uplifting words I was looking for, but then this song came on and it was great listening to the lyrics too.
"Be strong in the Lord and Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things, I already know,
God's got His hand on you so, Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget, But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray, These are the words I would say.."
   Another mom and dad had their baby outside and I saw that she had a G-tube too, so I asked if I could get a picture of everything together to see how it might be for us. I'm not sure if she would have all of that with her, but maybe. I can't really imagine pushing that around Disney Springs with us (and all the ventilator stuff) but we want to be able to take Emma around places. That baby did not have a trach.
   Emma joined in on the photo challenge too. Here are three pictures of what she sees and gets to “enjoy” every day. 
How boring- ha!! But they have been giving her “pod time” where she gets to sit in the carpeted area where the nurses and doctors sit at the computers to document how the babies are doing. She seems to like that a lot since she gets to be closer to everyone and gets more attention, especially when she was dressed up as Baby Dorothy! The fourth picture was a photo challenge done by her guardian angel. Anytime Emma is looking up at the ceiling, I always ask her if she sees the angels. :)

And now here are more black and white artsy pictures that do include sweet baby and family faces!!
 Did I mention that Michael got a new car a month or two ago? (September 16th)
 Twins!! Emmy and Emma. Can you tell who is who? ;)