It is Lent as of yesterday, and that is always the time I start thinking too hard about life and the way I live. I was stressing out a lot about money a couple weeks ago after we did our taxes and found out that Michael was not getting enough withheld, so we barely got any money back this time compared to the $1,640 we got back last year ~ Wooo!!
Due to the talk about needing more money withheld, I redid our budget (for after I am done with materbity leave and Chip is in daycare) and I guess a low-ball number for how much Michael might start making, I quickly panicked seeing that the Income number was $55 lower than the Bills number. Michael remained very calm and told
me there was no way the updated tax form would withhold an extra $260
out of his paychecks like I had estimated. He told me to stop worrying
about things so far in advance (even though he know that is hard for me
because I like having answers and planning everything out way in
advance) and to just take one day at a time like he does. Right now
everything is fine and we can pay all of our bills on time, put good
chunks of money into savings every month, and keep going out to eat
every week. Although I made a lyric painting over the summer of a Justin
Beiber song with the chorus words: We could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke, as long as you love me. I feel like I need to change that saying to add security with "As long as you love me, and we have at least $20,000 in savings!" It's great to think about love really being all I need, and sometimes it does feel that way, but other times it's hard not to think how money (and time) kind of controls everything we do.
I took these two pictures while I was walking around that day, trying
to be thankful that we have very nice living conditions. Often during a
slump of thoughts -wondering why God let me have such an
amazing life that I still often complain about -sometimes I complain
about having too much and I go into a small donation spiral (this
occurred after looking at the pictures in Kisses From Katie and I slapped myself in the face for having any kind of ungrateful thoughts and all that unnecessary worry), which I
guess is fine because that helps the people who really need it - I
try to be more thankful with what I have, including the super simple things like hot water.. I'm just going to end this
part of the post here because I feel like it's too negative, but wanted
to get my thoughts out..