It's a Hard Love

Hold on tight a little longer // What don't kill ya, makes ya stronger
You can't change without a fallout // It's gon' hurt, but don't you slow down
Get back up, 'cause it's a hard love

But there's a reason that the road is long // It takes some time to make your courage strong

   This song called "Hard Love" by Need to Breathe makes me think about a lot of things, specifically the verses that I didn't add in here. But right now the chorus is making me think about being patient and positive while waiting the 13 more days until Emma's scheduled birth (Monday, June 12th at 12:30pm). The time has definitely slowed down this month since I haven't been working. I really like my job and miss it, and the people that I work with, but I'm keeping them up to date on their "Teletype baby". 

When the wolves come and hunt me down // I will face them all and stand my ground
'Cause there's a fire burnin' in me // They will see my strength in this love I found

   Zach came down with Peyton for the long Memorial Day weekend on Friday and stayed with his friend Edgard, but first stopped by our house (he hadn't seen it yet!) for a couple hours and we watched Finding Dory on Netflix with Michael until his friend got home from work. I also saw Zach and Peyton yesterday afternoon for about 30 minutes and we watched her climb all over a nearby "pey-pound" (playground) until they had to drive home.

  A few days ago when Michael was at work (maybe also on Friday?) I went through all of our bills and projected paychecks between now and mid January to see how much money we could put back in savings. We had been taking some out each month so Michael could work on his long project list, but I guess he decided we were spending too much money in a short period of time (I agree) and set a savings goal for us. However, after an hour or two of "crunching numbers", I let him know that after August we will barely have any money left over each month due to baby bills and daycare fees that we are not used to paying. In the words of Mrs. Molly Weasley, "We'll manage."

  Michael says he is already.. what's a loving word for "annoyed"?.. by how often I ask, "How much is that going to cost?" But at the same time says I am very good about paying all of our bills on time and keeping us on budget so that our savings account gets richer when possible. We started our grocery shopping for June already (mostly individually) and keeping track of them helps me make better choices. Michael went to Target to get some of his last night because he had a $25 gift card, and today I went to Publix. When I'm on a budget I usually go to Walmart, but due to needing turkey and cheese from the deli and knowing Triscuits were a BOGO this week, I went to Publix instead. I sacrificed my love of bakery sugar twist donuts and instead made s'mores pudding cups for dessert from a mix I already had from Dollar Tree last year.

   This morning Michael and I went to another high risk appointment to get Emma's updated measurements, but for some reason the ultrasound tech said the last one was on the 18th (a Thursday), but they have been done every other Monday. Whatever, we'll get the growth scan done in two days. But my growth is up to 133 pounds now!
   These pictures were from last night with me being 35 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Sometimes I think I look super pregnant and other times not so much. According to my Pregnancy+ app, a baby grows to about 2.2 pounds by 28 weeks, and 3.8 pounds by 32 weeks. So although Emma is for some reason five weeks behind, she is still the right weight for her size. But I have also heard and read that the estimates in measurement via ultrasound can still be off by a pound or two. The doctors told my mom that I would probably only weigh five pounds, but I was almost seven! So maaaybe Emma will actually weigh 4 or 5 pounds? As long as her lungs are strong, she can breathe on her own, and we can bring her home after a few weeks, we'll be good. That's what I'm praying for.