Fire and Joy

  I'm really loving the blog Fire and Joy again right now, previously called We Live Young. I can look at and study Nirrimi's pictures for a good minute before scrolling down to the next one. Each photo holds such a strong story. Two quotes I love that she wrote on her blog over the years are "Life is moving too fast to get caught up in negativity." (This is a big one for me, especially now in our semi-teensy struggle to get pregnant.) And the other is, "I said yes because life is richer when I face my fears." Secretly I feel like photography is one of my fears, mainly when a non-relative asks me to take pictures for them. I have turned down offers for portraits before. I believe a co-worker (Jonathan, and his now-wife, Brittany) asked me to take their wedding pictures last year. However, I declined because that is such an important day. I love the pictures I took for my brother's wedding (part 1 here & part 2 here), but that was a small family ceremony so it wasn't a big deal when I asked them to kiss again or walk down the aisle a second time because the first shots were blurry. I just need more experience, and right now I am happy to gain it. Other times taking, editing, and blogging the pictures seems like such daunting and time-consuming tasks, especially since I already have a full time job. I just need to find the balance in that- as well as everything else.

  Nirrimi and her boyfriend, Bee, remind me of us. I noticed that yesterday while reading what she writes so poetically without rhyming. How he will comfort her when she's sad and if she gets in a bad mood, he'll stay positive and remind her to make it a good day and enjoy their time together. Saturday night, while I was helping Michael with the pretty blue rug he bought to put under the dining room table that he built last week, I became overwhelmed with sadness. I walked over to him and began crying into his shoulder. Shortly before that I had taken another pregnancy test and it was still negative. I kept getting my hopes up, since it had been eight days since the last time I took a test. I was even more hopeful that one would be positive and I'd see the plus sign. I chose to be hopeful over the past three and a half weeks instead of assuming negatively. I had been thinking at work about how I'd decorate the dining room before Michael got home from work. But that quickly faded and this time hurt more than just confusing disappointment. He held me as long as I needed him to and rubbed his hand over my back.  He told me that we'll have a baby soon and assured me there is nothing wrong with me. I don't like not knowing why my body isn't making the healthy baby that we want after trying since Christmas. Isn't that why it's called the reproductive system? He even told me that we can adopt Mikaella (the 14 year old girl we sponsor in the Philippines). I know he said that just to make me laugh, but it was still a nice thought.

  Two more Nirrimi quotes to close my writing:

"Little things go wrong sometimes, but mostly life is too full and busy and easy to be sad." // "This life thing is quite a whirlwind and I'm just glad we're there to hold each other's hands through it all."

 ~ ✩ ✬ ✭ ✬ ✩ ☆ ✩ ✬ ✭ ✬ ✩ ☆ ✩ ✬ ✭ ✬ ✩ ☆ ~

 These pictures are my favorite. There are so many good ones and I can't believe none of these were my favorite in April 2012 when we had the photo shoot. She is my favorite person to take pictures of because she is so creative in her posing and knows how to use her body. I miss this. You can see the original post here and two more edits here.

the Inquisitive Pumpkin

I told Jacquie that I still wanted to practice with the Canon Rebel T2i and blog again. I have plenty of time and it's nice to have a break from watching Hulu all night long when I don't have to work. Blogging makes me feel more creative and productive. She told me that she wanted pictures at the pumpkin patch and she had the perfect outfit to use, all from Gymboree- including the pumpkin hat. We also talked about going to the Kanapaha Botanical Gardens since they were having an entry-free weekend, but they closed at 5pm, and we got busy taking other family photos before dinner. (I'll post those after the Color Run pictures! They are too fun and beautiful not to show off.) Plus Mommy said she went last year and it was super packed. I'd prefer to have nice pictures without random strangers in the background. The website says regular Kanapaha admission is only $7. Not bad.

Peyton is one of those babies that tries to figure everything out. She looks cranky a lot because her eyebrows are often furrowed, but she's just trying to understand what is going on or who someone is. Sometimes I call her "Eyebrows". Mommy said I was exactly like that when I was a baby. It is possible that 400 of the pictures I took looked like that, but we skipped through those and saved the happy ones to post. I love when you can see her two little bottom teeth. But she already has eight! Four of them which are still growing in. And right now we have to hold her hands in a lot of the pictures because she is always putting her hands in her mouth. It covers up her great smile!

I ended up taking a total of 536 pictures just during the 45 minutes we were at the pumpkin patch. Its easiest for me to just take a bunch and delete the cranky faces later. I don't want to miss out on any of the cute smiles, especially when her facial expressions change so quickly. I busted out laughing on Saturday when Mia was holding her because she went from smiling without showing her teeth to instant grump cat face. I'm not sure what changed since Zach was standing behind me shaking his keys and trying to make her laugh. But it was super hilarious! I keep forgetting how much she does not like when I bust out laughing because it's suddenly so loud. And she cried once when I sneezed.

 When she gets a little older (maybe when she is 3 years old? She's one week shy of 11 months here) I'll have to get pictures of her wearing the first Dorothy dress that my mom sewed for me in preschool. Having her sit next to a scarecrow like this one and my stuffed lion would be super cute.

 I love the pictures above because you can see them smiling at each other and Peyton looking steady, knowing she is safe with her mommy holding on to her. I can't wait for my future baby to call me mommy (right now Peyton can say "ma ma ma ma" and Jacquie always tells her "I'm here") and reach for my hand when we cross the street. Yes, I know babies are a huge responsibility and how I'll be exhausted at points and will no longer be allowed to be selfish. Sounds like regular mature adult life! I know that it costs a lot for the doctor appointments, hospital birth, formula, food, diapers, etc. Michael makes sure to remind me of this almost every day. But I make sure to tell him everything will work out just fine and life will be extra amazing because we will have created a new life together. An actual new human life to mold and love unconditionally- not just a cliche fresh start.

[ the foretold eyebrows! ]

 ^^ On the Walking Dead hay ride! We didn't see any zombies, but the ride was longer than everyone thought it would be and we turned around by an old creepy building. We wouldn't have been prepared!

After the pumpkin patch we went home and decorated green zombie cookies that Mommy had baked from a kit. I was secretly really excited about it since I've been loving New Years Eve when we make belated graham cracker houses with icing and candy.  Jacquie and Peyton came to church with me and Mommy on Sunday, and I was the one holding her before and after so we figured that everyone who whispered "that's such a cute baby" assumed she was mine. And that's perfectly fine with me!! I liked doing the sign of the cross on her with holy water, feeding her one Cheerio at a time during the homily, and singing to her when I knew the words. It's so precious how she can hold food in her hand and chew the little rice crisps like a big girl. She even held it up to my mouth to let me take a bite. Jacquie kept saying she can't believe Peyton will already be one on Thanksgiving Day!

Attempting to taste the gourd! 

These two photos with me were taken by Mommy with the iPhone 5.

I'm excited to say that Michael has slowly been wrapping his head around all the baby prep. We went to the bank and opened a second savings account yesterday to keep the baby fund separate from our Atlanta house fund. Then he spent 45 minutes editing a picture of Peyton, but I didn't post it here since he turned it in to a scary Halloween card. He asked me a lot of questions about why having a baby now would be better than waiting two years. Hopefully my answers were acceptable or valid in his terms. I felt very prepared to answer questions about where we would put everything (I really would not want much since we live in a 1-bedroom apartment) and explaining how we wouldn't need a changing table because we always change Peyton on the floor with a plastic mat under her. And when I look up minimalistic baby reviews, everyone says a changing table is a waste of money and they never used it. Plus changing the baby on the floor means they can't roll off of anything. I thought it was funny that now when Michael talks about a baby/kid he says "he" instead of "she". He wants us to have a boy now so we don't have to pay for a wedding in 25 years. (Ha! Sorry Ailyn.)

Fountain of Youth

Yesterday while I was visiting my family in Gainesville, I went to St. Augustine with my mom, sister in law (Jacquie) and her almost 10- month old daughter (Peyton). I'd like to go back with Michael another weekend and take pictures around the historic sites, including the oldest wooden schoolhouse in the United States! After walking around the town with our cartoon map, getting lunch and ice cream, we went to the beach. I wanted to be there for her first trip to the beach. Last time she was "at the beach", Jacquie was 5 months pregnant with her. So she needed to really see it and feel it with her little body. My laptop has gotten older since the last time I blogged, and my computer skills have not grown, so here are six cute horizontal pictures. The program I used to edit and combine vertical pictures will no longer let me access it without Flash Player, which I have not yet figured out how to download..

St. Augustine Beach, 9/19/15.
Love from, Peyton's Aunt Rachee, future cousin birther! (TBD.)

---------------------

Update from Aunt Rachee on 10/21/20 ~ 

Spoiler, Peyton! I birthed you a cousin.. over three years ago. Too bad you still haven't been able to meet her yet. Also, what the heck, 2015 Rachel. Why does it matter if the pictures are in portait or landscape format as long as they are nice photos? Post them anyway and don't waste time putting them together as a "collage" in Photoshop. Just lemme see these dang cute baby pics!.. Look at that- you took almost 200 pictures and you only posted SIX?! My goodness.. Here are my other faves:

Miriam's Maternity Shoot

   While Michael and I stayed with Mia for a week in Orlando at the beginning of December, after we stayed with Cody and Alana, I paid a lovely visit to Miriam. It was great getting to see her again and I had missed all of the photo shoots we had every couple of months when we still lived in Orlando, way back in 2012. As you can tell from the pictures: Miriam is pregnant! My second friend to have a baby, after Lindsey.
   She is about 30 weeks here, since the baby (a boy!!) is due at the end of February. I was there to help her put together a handful of super cute baby shower cards, but got carried away with my "need" to take pictures. She had already rearranged the whole house, so I had to take updated photos of her amazing interior design skills. But also I had never taken maternity photos, and I made it very clear even through previous texts that I simply had to take some for her! The bear is the first toy they bought for the baby, and she was devastated when their small dog chewed one eye off. But like any creative individual, Miriam says she will fix the bear, by turning him into a pirate.

   Michael and I went back to their house that night for dinner with Miriam and Garth. We had pizza and they also ordered one of those chocolate chip cookies in the shape of a pizza. And they had vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup. Oh dear! But I know Michael had a great time meeting them and Garth seemed completely interested in what stories Michael had about working on indie films in California and making his own Boba & Jango Fett costumes back in the day.
   Miriam and Garth got engaged on that red bridge (seen above, in the last photo) and married in Tampa on November 2nd. A small family gathering, yet romantic and extravagant. She showed me the wedding photos. They are stunning!! She hopes to have a vow renewal sometime not too far off that way all of their friends can be a part of the ceremony as well.
   Miriam's baby shower is this Saturday and I truly wish we could be a part of that too, but it's also in Tampa, where both of their parents live. A good 10-hour drive from Birmingham. The sad part was that during my short visit, I went to the bathroom just as many times as she did. How can I possibly imagine going more than I already do? I'll be sure to tell you all about it when it's my turn. ;)

Starpoint

   The following are more pictures that I don't know why I never posted because I think they are really nice. These photos are also from the middle of July 2012, same as the ones I wrote about last Tuesday, and are mainly with Alana's horse Starpoint. Alana's house has inspired me to hang up more of my favorite pictures that I have taken. Like turning my scrapbook room into a museum, so I might do that when Michael and I get back to Birmingham. Can't beat those $1 frames at Dollar Tree!

Pinterest was great for me during this time, and still is. I was able to find a lot of really nice poses from other photographers and try to replicate them. They usually turned out a little different since I have less experience with a nice camera, especially at this point and I'm definitely still learning, but none the less, I believe the photos turned out really nice. Much thanks to my fabulous model and her beautiful horses. And to Cody for crinkling a grocery bag to make the horses look where I wanted. ;)

 Starpoint is a 2001 Bay Thoroughbred Mare.

   This is my last old update before I start posting what has happened a lot more recently.

Tea for Two

   Another one of Alana's super cute ideas for a photoshoot in July of 2012 was to have a tea party with Squirt. She had a table with purple tulle and a cute fluffy skirt. I helped her pick out the little cups, plates and other decor for the table, such as the book and flowers.

    I remember that I used the 50mm for these pictures because I was amazed how just using a lower aperture setting could make the almost dark sky around 8pm look like 4pm again. (I love the good half of Daylight Saving!) There was a lot of laughing in this shoot because Squirt kept knocking over the cups and the flowers.

^^ Alana and Cody have the above two photos blown up and in 18" x 24" frames
at their house. Maybe next time Michael and I visit, there will be more pictures framed.
Some from December 2013 perhaps? ;) ^^

♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡