Cow Hugger

   So much green goodness in the pictures below. I was wrong in the last health post about being 117 pounds forever. I'm down from that. I'm in one of those moods right now.. a little sad and frustrated, thinking that I'm not being my best self, and a lot of it has to do with being lazy. I know that I can be better. I should be better. A better wife, a better daughter. A better employee at work. A better Catholic. Things are really good overall and I had a great weekend at work, especially on Friday and Sunday morning. Somehow I had a lot of energy, testing out the fact of "drinking cold water in the morning has a stronger affect than drinking a cup of coffee". I was so happy and wanted to hug everyone I saw and tell them how great they are. I would love to feel like that every second of every day. I would definitely be my best self a lot more easily. Nothing was holding me back, no negativity to drag me down or doubt anything. It was a glorious feeling, but now I'm tired. I should watch Yes Man again. Next time I'm on that high I'll have to write a blog post and then refer back to it often.
   Here are two pictures of my best friend, Mia. She represents such a strong sense of goodness, peace, warmth, laughter, positivity, calm, bravery. Michael is a lot like that too. I am drawn to people with such bright authentic personalities. I wonder what it's like to live in the world with her heart. I wish I had the excitement to do so many things on my own. I always feel like I need someone with me when I go places, but that could be because I think it would be more fun experiencing those things or going to those places with someone that I care about. But taking that leap is how Mia ends up making new friends. Maybe that's where she gets her heart from. The risks. Plunging into the unknown with that gleaming natural smile on her face.

   Pictures from when I walked in one of the trail areas. The main parking lot was blocked off due to trees being down after the hurricane, but another small gravel lot was open another 1/2 miles down the road, so I just walked a little bit further. I haven't been going on many walks lately, just eating healthier which is still working in the Losing Weight department. *thumbs up*

 Now for the food pictures...

 Avocado cucumber sandwich from Nature's Market in the mall food court. ^^

   Eat the rainbow. Until last month I didn't even know that tomatoes came in other colors aside from red. I do not get tired of these Bruschetta Triscuts with hummus, basil, and vegan mozzarella. When I was at the check out at Publix last week an old man in line behind me got really excited seeing my "veggie cheese" as he called it. He asked if it was soy free too (yes) and I told him which area it was in. They have four flavors too. Happy to help!

   These warm rice and bean lettuce wraps were even better than they look. Probably because of the hummus which is a vegan staple. I keep getting the roasted red pepper flavor. I think Sasha wants to be vegan too. She's always trying to lick my food when I make Morning Star veggie burgers or Dr. Praeger's vegan burgers. They are good, especially with all the other veggies added on it!

   Today marks 37 days since I've eaten meat.  Just saying. Sometimes when I walk by a mirror or see my reflection in the mirror I give myself a quick "ooooh". I'm proud of myself, but I tend to get pretty serious when I make a goal for this kind of stuff. This morning when I put on my sports bra and little work out shorts to do some exercise videos in the living room, I realized that it was the same outfit that I took pictures in after I lost weight in California. I was 105 in those pictures (September 2013) and I'm 114 right now.

  For the "future better mom" category, I want to stay away from this type of talk (the negative kind) when it comes to weight. I have thought about that a lot in the past couple of years. Even now when I joke about babies having chubby thighs and arms or I laugh if they look fat in a picture. When our future baby gets older and starts understanding words and meaning of things, I'll have to be careful with what I say and talk about walks and bike rides making us strong instead of using the word skinny. I even need to be careful of this around Peyton.
   I don't even know why I became "obsessed" with being skinny all that time ago. I think it started around the end of high school. I remember taping all of the pictures of Mary Kate Olsen (from 2004) and Hilary Duff after her dramatic weight loss (in 2005). Maybe I just saw the pictures and thought, "Wow. She looks awesome!" It wasn't until 2007 that I remember doing anything about trying to be skinny too. I never had a weight issue until 2008 when I weighed 132 pounds on the cruise in April!! But that was because I worked night shift at 911 in Gainesville and on my days off I slept so much and ate a ton of chips and ice cream then tried to lose weight fast in unhealthy ways rather than exercising and eating healthy so I just kept gaining more and more weight until I went to Full Sail a year later and started walking the mile to and from class every day. (And I lost 15 pounds in five months. Phew!) Now for motivation I just use pictures of myself at different times over the years since 2009 and think, "I did it before, I can get there again now. I'll look that good soon."